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Some Women Breadwinners Resent Husbands

Work's Importance Can Create Tension

POSTED: 2:43 pm EDT May 20, 2008

Some women who are the primary breadwinners for their families -- or those who earn as much as their husbands -- are proud but also resent their husbands, according to a new survey by BettyConfidential.com.

The site said that in 2005, government statistics showed that roughly one-third of women outearn their husband.

"I think people suspect that a woman outearning her husband is a catalyst for tension in the marriage," said BettyConfidential.com editor Nicole Christie. "Our survey reveals that outearning one's husband is a blessing -- less financial worries, a sense of pride -- but also a curse, creating a greater pull of work versus family and a gap between husband and wife that's difficult to bridge."

The survey was sent to 100 women, 25 of whom responded. They were asked about how the salary situation affected their relationships, some of which had already led to divorce.

Questions included:
  • Does being the breadwinner help or hurt your marriage?
  • Do you ever wish you were not the breadwinner?
  • Among divorced women, 66 percent said that the situation destroyed their marriages.

    Seventy-five percent said they fantasize about being something other than the provider, including imagining lives as socialites or the woman who gets to lunch and play tennis during the day.

    Some women complained that they were still expected to do traditional "women's work" at home despite the demands of their jobs, and others found that they could just not agree with their husbands on how to arrange their lives to fit two important working schedules.

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